Thursday, March 31, 2011

Nathan William Swanson

This is my little brother.

This picture is from the day before our sister Emma's wedding on the drive to Kirkland almost two years ago. Nate, who I call Bubba, always shares his headphones with me when I forget music on a long drive. We take turns 'dedicating' songs to each other and listening to Christian punk songs from our Youth Group years.

I really love my brother. Nathan was quiet growing up (I blame that on Emma and I. We liked to talk for him.) so when he suddenly began joking around, it was the most hilarious thing. He makes me laugh harder than most people because he always links whatever I'm doing back to how I'm exactly like our dad, or a family joke, or he makes fun of Emma (WE LOVE YOU. COOL IT, BOOBS)... I really just love him. He's extremely giving. Nathan never turns down the opportunity to help someone. EVER. He doesn't even see it as him being helpful... it's just like a thing he's supposed to do. He just shrugs his shoulders and does it as if it's no big deal! That is an amazing character trait for a 19-year-old.

Our parents are in Italy for their 25th wedding anniversary. They left last Saturday and are returning a week from tomorrow so Nate has been home alone for awhile. Since I only work in the mornings on Thursdays, Nate came up to Parkland to hang out with me. We did what we usually do: made pizza, watched music videos of punk songs from our Youth Group years, and watched a movie that I screamed through while he laughed at me (zombie movie... nuff said). Then he left. Then I started crying. I don't totally know why. I really love my brother and I do honestly miss being away from my family. It was a major let down to see him leave.

There isn't much of a point to this... just that my brother is awesome and I love him. :)

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Well Hello

It certainly has been awhile.

Varying things have kept me from blogging. Mostly it was a lack of time. But if I'm being honest, the main factor was that writing is terrifying.

You cannot write without discovering the truth about your thoughts, heart, and motives.
That's why writing is so cathartic and why it's so easy to rant on these things. Writing- taking your thoughts out of your head- forces you to see, organize, and, the scariest of all, justify what you think.

That is where my problem starts.
I love to organize. Our God is a god of order and as his children, we are designed to enjoy bringing order out of chaos. But truth... Truth is terrifying. Whatever thought process it may be, I am most likely wrong and I don't enjoy that feeling. In my haste, my busyness, I have overlooked repentance. Satan has wrapped me up in me and as a result, I have run into a place of spiritual apathy. With this revelation comes honesty. It is terrifying and uncomfortable but it is also good for the kidneys. :) I encourage you, make the decision today to RUN after Jesus. Thwart your thoughts: they are most likely evil. Dig around in your heart and find what does not line up with scripture. Who cares if you feel like it or not. It is not a feeling, it is a choice and it is the most crucial one you can make from day to day.

It's lovely to see your sunshiny faces again. Kisses and hugs,

Molly Alyssum