Monday, March 22, 2010

We're all learning.

When I was in high school, I swore I would never drink and I loudly condemned every one who did.

While dating my ex-boyfriend, I told him I didn't want him drinking at all. I wanted him to set a good example for his brothers, which I still think is reasonable, but I also wanted him to conform to what I believed was the right thing to do. Of course, underage drinking is against the law. But I was calling on a higher law: my personal legalism.

It wasn't until my sister's bachelorette party that I understood alcohol could be enjoyed in moderation. The women there were of the legal age and not a single one got drunk. I was not pressured to even try a drink. I even had my own 'Safe Sex on the Beach' punch bowl of fruit juice. We all had fun, dancing and joking around, and it was that night that I realized you don't become a slobbering drunk from one drink.

There is a way to drink without being foolish. I just didn't learn that until the end of my first year of college. Now, I regret how much I vocally condemned other people who had figured out before me that 'Everything in moderation' can be applied to alcohol.

That being said, my most recent struggle is with cigarettes.

I have a huge problem with cigarettes. I didn't realize that until a dear friend picked up the habit. Sure, I had been around smokers but it was never some one I cared about so deeply so it didn't bother me.

Now we all know, including smokers, that cigarettes are bad news but who am to stand on a soap box and loudly condemn every smoker I see? I am just as weak. I rationalize eating foods that make me sick and I am incredibly lazy. Sloth is one of the seven deadly sins for a reason. And then there is the self-inflicted toll constantly being sick has on my physical body. I can't pull out the 'your body is the temple of God', verse on smokers when I am constantly yakking because I'd rather eat ice cream than actually make myself a sandwich. I am as incapable of fighting the crap in my life as smokers. We all rely on something we don't need, something that can kill us. It lurks in the darkness but you know in your heart that it's there.

What's my point..... I guess my point is that we're all learning. We're all growing up, learning more about the world, about ourselves, about God, and I think we lack patience. People are still figuring it out... don't condemn some one for something you disagree on. Maybe they are just growing up, just learning. I'm not saying cigarettes are OK; they're not. I'm simply stating that I am learning, we are learning, mind-sets change and we all need to have more patience with each other. I've lost my patience a lot lately and it has cost me a wonderful friend. You may not agree with me... but please remember, I'm learning.


  1. ...and still learning, alas... even at my ancient age. I guess 'learning' is a Life thing:)

    And sitting in judgement is so easy, making me feel so smug, so wise!

    Insightful post, you darling.

  2. Worth pondering. Judgment? Never. Wisdom? Always.

  3. To quote one of my fav contemporary songwriters:

    "Pardon my dust, excuse the mess
    We're making somethin' new out of all of this
    I'm saying my prayers, and I'm trying to change
    So give me some time, 'cause I'm still finding my way

    Why are you lookin' at me this way?
    Pointing your finger, shakin' your head
    How 'bout some love along the way, instead"....excerpt from Chris Rice/Pardon My Dust

    ....we could all use a little love along life's learning journey.

  4. You are very wise. I think we all struggle in this area! Praying for you on your journey and growth!